There is a new political view that seems to be taking the country by storm. Whether you are a Republican, Democrat, Progressive, Conservative, left-wing, right-wing, or bat wing, Americans are joining together under a new political belief called Regurgetarianism. This is the political view that anything slightly political that you skim over online, you must then cut and paste on your Facebook wall and comment about it as if it’s the biggest, most controversial bit of news you’ve ever heard.Regurgetarianism began at a coffee shop north of Emeryville, California when undeclared college undergrads occupied couches and rambled on about how oppressed they feel about having to get an actual job someday. These chai-tea intellectuals would take random quotes out of context from the undecipherable scribbling of obscure Socialist writers and “re-imagine” them, much like Steven Spielberg reimagined Indiana Jones with an earring and those damn aliens. This would soon form the philosophy that Socialism is pretty cool when other people have more stuff than you. Meanwhile, in some cosmic serendipity, a group of young intellectuals, who happen to be the sons and daughters of wealthy CEOs or Congresspersons, gathered in the fourth story recreational room of one of the smaller mansions in Fairfax County, Virginia. There, they waxed and waned about what color BMW they should get next and how culturally diverse they feel since their landscaper is named Raul. One of them, likely Sebastian, Madison, Aiden, or Anistasia Beaverhousen, would stumble onto the very blog mentioned earlier and bring it up to the coven of trust fund babies. Naturally, they want no part of this tree-hugger, shared-wealth ideals because a) those damn hippies need to get a job and b) there isn’t enough money for everyone to have their cheerios served on a silver platter crafted by the hardworking children of NotAmericaLand.
Then, you have the guys and gals busting their asses 60 plus hours a week so that they pay an astronomical amount of money to fill their compact car just to get them to their devastatingly over-mortgaged home in time for them to log onto Facebook and read about how one side says they aren’t working hard enough while the other side wants their cut of what they already earned. While the pseudo-intellectuals cut and paste what they read from the clinically insane and twist it around into some form of political stance to prove the other guys wrong, the exhausted worker doesn’t post shit on his facebook because a) they are too tired and b) whats the fucking point?
So, the next time you are about to post something on Facebook that you kinda-sorta-read in the same way we all read the Illiad in school as far as our English teacher knows, take a moment and truly digest its importance. Why are you posting it? What purpose does it serve? Did you already make up your mind about how you feel about it before you read it?
The world isn’t black or white, Republican or Democrat, Christian or Muslim, Red Sox or Yankee. Please, do the world a favor. Consider your sources and their own agendas. Think before you cut and paste, or you will be among the new Regurgetarians!
Feel free to cut and paste this on your Facebook wall!