MyndJack Radio Blog

And we are back! So, Myndrunner, you ask, what have you been smoking and where can I get some? I assure you that (as far as the School Board knows) I am as sober as a glass blower from Cape Cod when I tell you that Ellen is actually the best thing to happen to Idol since From Justin to Kelly. Ok, another bad example, but while saving Idol from its inevitable demise is as futile as Danny Gokey trying to get a record deal from Russell Simmons, Ellen is making the suck of Idol suck a lot less.

Still not convinced? Let’s take the 10 most popular arguments against Ellen being on Idol:

1. What does Ellen know about music? Well, for starters, she is a music fan. Anyone who has watched at least one episode of her morning show can tell that music plays heavily in her production.
2. What does Ellen know about Idol? A lot, actually. She’s not just a fan of the show, but she has been the safe haven for previously ejected contestants to get one last bit of face time before fading into obscurity. Remember Jorge Nunez and Jasmine Murray? Exactly!
3. She is not qualified to be on the judge’s panel! While she may not be able to give the singing and packaging advice that Simon can, Ellen knows what it is like to stand before millions and be entertaining. She knows about stage presence and how to engage the audience, instead of alienate them like the Dogface Failure. BROKEN RECORD!
4. She can never fill Paula’s shoes! – Of course not! It is UN-Possible to replace the medicated and well marinated ramblings of our dear Paula, but she is not there to replace Paula. That was the tragic job of Dogface last season and mindless ramblings we got; but they were without the sugary sweetness of dear sweet Pauler.
5. Idol only brought her on to appeal to the gay audience. This is the most absurd argument I’ve heard since, aside from giddy teenage girls and undersexed frauen, a vast majority of the American Idol audience consists of gay men and women. Besides, Ellen treats her sexual orientation like she treats her hair-color. She doesn’t turn it into a Fellini film of fellatio like Glambert did on the AMA’s.
6. Ellen won’t take it seriously. This argument seems to come from the idea that because Ellen is a comedian, she will only cut jokes and do shtick. Well, from what I have seen so far she has done a lot more than that. Sure, she drops the occasional one liner, with varying degrees of success, but she has spent more of her time offering legitimate criticism and even overcompensating for the face-palming antics of those sitting next to her. For example, after Dogface in Heat fawns relentlessly over Casey James during his performance, leaving the towheaded singer visibly distracted, Ellen was the only one to apologize on the judges behalf for making a gimmick out of his attempt to have one of those “IDOL MOMENTS” we hear so much about.
7. Ellen is a novelty act. I have to admit that this was my biggest argument pre-Ellen for how she was going to be a disaster. I likened her to the brilliant idea of having Dennis Miller host Monday Night Football. Sure, he was great and funny the first 10 minutes in, but by the third game, Frank Gifford wanted to strangle the goateed gleeman and kick an extra point. Again, Ellen is not here for just shits and giggles. She is here to offer actual constructive criticism, something these contestants desperately need.
8. Ellen is here to replace Simon. Again, UN-possible!! No one can replace Simon Cowell, and lately, not even Simon can replace Simon. The Manboobed Malcontent has been seriously phoning it in lately; to the point where he can’t even look the contestants in the eye when he imparts his spiky comments. He is either looking for the way out or imagining what the Nokia Theater will look like once X-Factor takes over.
9. Ellen will scare the fragile minds of homophobic viewers. If you were surprised when Clay Aiken came out of the closet, then perhaps you should get spayed and neutered. There have been a number of gay contestants who have found great success, at least by Idol standards, on the show, such as: the aforementioned Gay Aiken, Adam Lambert, Blake Lewis, and Michael Sarver. These contestants were exactly in the closet about their orientation, yet AI continued to be a ratings juggernaut season after season.
10. Ellen cannot save Idol from its inevitable demise. Of course not. Not even Howard Stern could save American Idol if he joined the judge’s panel and was given full creative control. Not even Mark Burnett could save Idol at this point. Bringing Ellen aboard may have been the desperate move of panicking executives to save their Sparkling Cash Cow, but that doesn’t affect how refreshing Ellen has been on the show.

Everyone is saying it. The show has run its course. The editing manipulation, the gratuitous pimping of certain contestants, the translucent commentary by Randy and Dogface, and overall prefabricated drama of Idol are all understood by the masses. Everyone sees the man behind the curtain, twisting the knobs and pulling the levers, desperately crying out “This is a contest, not a Reality Show!” If you watch the magician long enough, you learn his tricks; and America has seen the same trick too many times.

The Titanic ocean liner that is American Idol has hit the iceberg. Fonzie has jumped the shark. All we need is Ted McGinley or Summer Glau to join the cast to finish the show off once and for all. Still, as Idol begins its swan song, at least we have Ellen there to give us something refreshing in an otherwise stale song and dance.

Ellen is the only thing about this season of American Idol that is refreshing. Seriously? Seriously! She is a fresh tuna sandwich in between two pieces of stale bread with a side of soggy chips!

Ok, I know what you are thinking. This is either a joke or another avalanche of Myndrunner bullshit; but, I assure you that I mean this article to be sincere. Well, somewhat sincere. Alright, its probably mostly BS but hear (read) me out.

It doesn’t take a Mayan Calendar or a mad scribbling from Nostradamus to see the inevitable demise of the American Media juggernaut called American Idol. Paula’s medicated and marinated antics have drifted away, Simon is phoning in his insults while having one foot already out the door, and Randy is actually trying to be taken seriously by trying to look like a chunky Bill Cosby wearing a sweater that was less Cliff Huxtable and more Captain Kangaroo. Then, there is the perpetual epic failure that is Kara DioGuardi, who I shall refer to henceforth as the Dogface Failure.

Even the contestants this season are bland carbon copies of previous seasons past. With my fellow Worsters from VFTW, we are doing our best to photochop and snark at this season’s batch of dream chasers to make this somewhat enjoyable, but its hard to make fun of so much vanilla. For me, the only real stand-outs, for better or worse, are the delightfully retarded ramblings of Siobhan Magnus and the diseased funk of Crystal “Pigpen” Bowersox. The latter may become the first Idol Champion with ringworm while the former, destined to be the runner up, is likely to parlay her Idol recognition to get better weed.

Worster Pick Haley Vaughn, bless her soul, had her epic moment with her lispy rendition of a Miley Cyrus song to be known henceforth as “The Climbth.” Its as clear as Adam Lambert’s skin….wait, bad example….its just pretty damn obvious that the producers are stacking the deck to push for a female champion this season.

For starters, look at how forgettable the male contestants are this season. Even our Worster pick Tim Urban has only his dopey eagerness while trying to reach notes like George Castanza trying to slam dunk on Lebron James. I was sad to see John Park go because I think with all the fantastic Asian singers out there, its high time we had an Asian champion; but he definitely blew it by being stiff and choosing songs that cure insomnia. Jermaine Sellers, on the other hand, was more entertaining when he wasn’t singing, but taking him out of the competition is like removing the raisins from your raisin bran.

This is the first year that contestants in the top 24 have been allowed to tweet and post on Facebook; however, only through their official American Idol (watched) accounts. Producers know that they cannot control the spoilers, even though they tried by having the Hollywood tapings so close to the premiere; however, with today’s technology, the façade of how American Idol works is becoming as hard to keep up as Glambert’s cheek spackle. At this point, only the severely delusional still believe that the votes directly determine who goes home, but millions still vote. I vote for the Worster pick simply because I believe that someday the actual votes will be compared to the results and the world will finally realize that Normund Fucking Gentle should have won Season 8!

So while rallying the inevitable demise of Idol, I was surprised to suddenly find myself enjoying one new element of the show. Brace yourselves and hold your tomatoes until you finish reading but I actually believe that Ellen has improved the show. In fact, she may be the only person on the panel of judges that is actually providing genuine commentary. Perhaps it was in her contract to join that she be allowed to speak her opinion without the producer’s influence, or perhaps they aren’t ready to bring her into the coven of manipulation that goes on prior to every show for fear that she would expose what the nation pretty much already suspects. Unlike the other three judges, whose role is to sway the viewers into liking the ones they want you to like and sour on the ones they don’t, Ellen makes her commentary from the eyes and ears of a fan. She is as fit to be on that panel as you or I, and to me that is a good thing.

Coming up after the commercial break, I will address the top 10 reasons people do not like Ellen on the show and demonstrate how she is actually the only refreshing thing about this carbon copy season.

Congratulations to the WINNER of the MyndJack Radio Karaoke Idol competition, none other than the Fabulous Swoopina himself! With this victory not only comes fame and glory, but also an entertainment deal with ADR which not only includes a recording contract but also possibly his own show!! Can the airwaves handle uncensored Swoopina?!

Anyways, thanks for everyone who voted for all the contestants! Manny Riva and Professor Kast both did their best…..but I guess their best wasn’t good enough. Anyways, the next time we run MyndJack Karaoke Idol, we will be opening it up to the listeners (that’s YOU!) to enter the competition. Details will follow on how to enter. There are already reports of some planty participants who may be entering the competition, such as fan favorite MCS, NewsFlasher Michael Latin, and even Sir Darryl himself!! No word on if any of these rumors are valid, but we will have a full report at a later time.

In case you missed this EPIC Finale, check out the podcast here on the All Digital Radio Network. Why not go ahead and download these exclusive performances for your iPod listening pleasure?!

As always, thanks for listening!

Michelle Paulino shared her awesomeness with us as we discussed her rising career, challenges of Faith vs Music Industry, growing up in Rio, and mixing world music with R&B. Poor girl later joins us in the second hour as a celebrity guest judge in the EPIC SINGOFF between Manny Riva and Professor Kast in a showdown to determine who will face Swoopina in the GRANDE FINALE! Bring your pepper spray!

Click here to listen or download the podcast from this show!

Click here to visit Michelle’s personal webpage!

Professor Kast tells us about the latest in titilating terrorist tactics, Manny and Mynd celebrate a Saints Superbowl, the Fabulous One tells Mother Nature to buy some Midol, and then the three Semi-finalists perform before the judges panel and vie for your votes!

Who will make it to the Finale?! Vote now at www.alldigitalradio.com!

Download this episode of MyndJack Radio here!

After an epic Weak Sause News, Manny Rivers reports from the Everglades Supa-Foosball Final training camp, Swoopina discusses iPads and iTampons, and then the great Dr. Lulzington joins us to change lives with his wisdom. Then, in the second half, the results of MyndJack Radio Idol are revealed and a surprise farewell performance is…..well, TOO COLD!

Download this episode of MyndJack Radio or Listen to the Podcast here in our archives!

You’ve heard them sing before, but tonight, the four hosts of MyndJack Radio (Professor Kast, Manny Riva, The Fabulous Swoopina, and Myndrunner) will battle it out for Karaoke Supremacy! Each has selected a song from the 80s that fits their voice, style, and essence in hopes to not be eliminated on Thursday! YOU, MyndJack Nation, will determine who stays and who goes by voting on the All Digital Radio Network Poll! This……is MyndJack Radio Idol!

Also tonight, more Weak Sauce News, a Fabulous Razzler segment, and a TITILATING Walk the Plank!

Have you discovered the music of Molly Jenson yet? If not, then you are missing out on some true ear candy! Molly was our MyndJack Artist of the Week for two weeks in a row and is currently touring from Texas to the Carolinas while working on her Sophomore follow-up album to her debut, “Maybe Tomorrow” which features her delicious single “Give It Time.” Molly chatted with us for almost a full hour on our show about her upcoming gigs, how she developed her acoustic-pop sound, and where she hopes to be in 2010!

Check out all things Molly at www.mollyjenson.com and click on the iTunes tab to get her album! Also, go to our radio show archives to listen to our show with Molly Jenson as our special guest!

Episode #46: We start things off with a tribute to a classic Coen Brothers movie in the best way we can – KARAOKE!….until Film School Travis interrupts us.

We go on to review the best and worst of 2010 Films set to be released, and Film School Travis gives his official wins and losers of the year. A Walk the Plank from your Captn Riva on New Years Resolutions and the Professor Facepalms at the Worst Cooks in America!

Then Deb from Vote for the Worst stops by to join us for a heaping helping of Weak Sauce News, including the dazed and confused acceptance speech of Mariah Scary from the Palm Springs Film Festival. In the last half hour, the Legendary BlackJack Dragon from MyndJack Music join us for our chat with Verity in Stereo as they prepare for their awesome January 16th CD Release Party!!

All the while, Manny’s TIDE keeps on ROLLIN!!!! ARRGH!!!

LISTEN and/or DOWNLOAD this Episode here at All Digital Radio here!

Tonight is a night CHOCK FULL of EPICNESS! We open with a little ditty from one of our favorite Cohen Bros. movies and then chat with Film School Travis about what films will be hot (and not) in 2010. Then, in the second hour, BLackjack Dragon will be stopping by to fill us in on the latest on MyndJack Music, and Verity in Stereo will be popping in to update us on their Jan 16th gig!

Tonight at 9pm EST either at www.alldigitalradio.com or on iTunes under Radio – News&Talk – All Digital Radio Network!

Join us in chat tonight! Just click on the Chatroom button above!